Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Blog a Book along: Chapter 5 Stress/anxiety....

I am going to answer one of the writing prompts...Do I grow up in an anxiety rich environment? How did it affect me as a kid?

Yes, I did grow up in an anxiety rich environment because when I was 9 years old my world changed. My mother who was my world at the time had an aneryseum that left her alive but partial paralyzed and having to learn everything all over again. I also ended up sick with scarletina and very scared that nothing would ever be the same. All of a sudden my rock wasn't there. My siblings were all a lot older than me and had lives of their own. My father was there but he had my mother to take care there was a lot of anxiety in my home for a lot of years as we adjusted to the changes. I ended up taking care of my parents by the time I was ten. I did the laundry, cooking, and cleaning etc. I don't know what a normal childhood is like because I didn't really have one. I learned more about pharmacology than most adults. Needless to say I had a lot of responsiblity and some say in the household but I still needed some direction and guidance. My father had did the best he could but he also helped me to see that I could do anything as long as I wanted it badly enough.

I learned thru my experiences what I don't want for my children but also learned coping mechanisms to deal with my life without pills or drugs. I have learned mediation as a way to relieve stress and worries. I know my signals that I need to release things. My dh has learned various things thru his life as well and we have practiced them together. We try to have a peaceful household but fun and loving household as well. I don't want to a friend to children I want to be a guide and sounding board. These are things that I always wanted with my parents. I don't like feeling anxious so I have worked to change that. I know some people don't have that luxury of having time to deal with their anxieties but I know once they deal with them, They function better. I think Dyer is not realizing that not all children are totally accepting and free from anxiety. My son has always been anxious and nervous since he was small. My dh and I have shared with him our ways of coping and encouraged him to find his own peace with himself. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't but we do try to him figure out why he worries and if it is something he can change to feel in control of it.

I also think there is a fine line between worry and concern....I call it worry but maybe it is concern....I worry that my kids as they find their independence they are not harmed badly...I worry that my husband's health doesn't get worse or that he has an accident....I think these things are some things I can not change but I still worry because I love them and don't want to lose them to something that we could have prepared for. So worry or concern.....where is the line and do we know if we cross it?


The Silent K said...

I guess if it becomes invasive it is worry. That's waht I think.

melba said...

I was nodding my head and completely there with you on this post. Although there was not sickness in my family, my parents divorced when I was 5 and I did many household chores at a young age and felt there was always anxiety about money.

It is nice to read that you and your husband found ways to cope together.

My son is only 3 and I see anxiety in hime even though I also try to have a very peaceful home without yelling (I am not that good at that one) and without violent television. I think children are born with thier personality. I didn't always think this as much. I do think we have the ability to learn how to cope with any situation even if we are born nervous.