Journaling my Christmas Day #2!

Well I am no expert on blogger either. Some day I will learn how to get pictures to go where I want them to. This my day 2 entry. I spread the journaling across the two pages.

Here is the Journaling in a more comprehensive manner.

Christmastime has always meant snow and ice . I grew up in Ohio and snow was generally present. I made snowmen and snowball fights with the neighborhood kids. The winters never got terribly cold. Thermometer at zero was cold, snow crunching under foot...nose a bit cold...uncomfortable, yes, but not life threatening.
I live in North Dakota now, winter has a whole new meaning, -20*F isn't unusual, the cold is life threatening if out for more than a few minutes. My kids don't usually play in the snow like we used to. I have learned to always wear gloves and hats...etc because it gets COLD! I still enjoy the season with lots of clothes and coffee.I do lots of indoor thnigs but the live nativity is one I will brave the COLD for. It is a special event and one new tradition to add to our family. My kids think snow is just a season to get thorough until spring. I hope one day they can appreciate the snow for its beauty than the ugly side of the cold that goes with it.

There it is in a nutshell. the snowflakes were made by me and my daughter. It was fun to make them again.

Journaling my Christmas

I have decided to come back to blogger. Journalspace wasn't letting me do things I wanted to do.

I know how this all works so I am back.

I am taking this class online about journaling your Christmas so far it is lots of fun. I am remembering making snowflakes.

It is fun to creative with paper and scissors again. Back to basics for me. I post my Manifesto/committment to being creative every day during this season.

This one of the things I have been working on. It is the baby Kimono from mason dixon knitting. I am knitting it for my newest great niece. She is a few weeks old so I have to hurry to get it done.

It is a new thing for me. I hope to do more knitting out of the book like the hand towels and some of the dishclothes. I really do enjoy the Mason Dixon book. Great knitting. Thank you Secret Pal for the book.


So there is a knitting update. More later.


This is my tattoo.....granted it is a henna tattoo. Yes, it was temporary. I really enjoyed getting it. I got as part of my weekend to a Christian woman's retreat. We learned about India and Pakistan. It was fun to learn about different cultures and how they relate to our own. We got to meet a couple who grew up in Pakistan. The lady gave anyone who wanted one a henna tattoo. It was lots of fun learning about different religions and investigating my own. I may have to try my hand at henna tattooing too.

Secret Pal 8 posting challenge....

Okay...at least this gives me something to say even though...I should have lots to say about my weekend away....another day.

1. What is your favorite season....My favorite season is the beginning of all of them....the first crisp fall day, the first snow, the first flower in spring and the first really warm day in summer.

2. My favorite place to vacation would be anywhere there are trees and indoor plumbing.

3. I would be an artist...spending my days either knitting or scrapbooking....design things and just enjoying the process.

4. my favorite thing to knit is everything....and crochet I like to crochet baby afghans.

5. Right now....this changes according to mood or season....Ice Cream....with cookies...

6. Favorite way to relax and unwind is a hot bath, a good book and knitting.

So there you have it me in a nut shell. I am a simple girl. I don't even need to TV....well, I do like to know the news but I can use radio for that.
I will do another installment soon. I had a tattoo.....

Secret Pal post.....

Okay...I haven't died or anything but have been busy with my new job. I am a bookkeeper at a local grain elevator. So I am learning new things and remember how to do old things. I have trying to do some knitting from the new book that my secret pal sent me. I started the baby kimono but haven't gotten too far with it. I am doing it in a lilac Lion brand cotton. It is for my new great niece. I just have to get it done soon.

I know that my secret pal is out of the country for the a while but I know she will be back soon. I am trying to figure out some things to get for my secret pal. Too many choices...but will just have to choose something.

Talk to you all soon. I have a retreat this weekend my first time to go away by self. It should be interesting.

Lots of Things.....

These are some of things I made for a craft fair this last weekend. These were fun and easy to make. I only sold two paper bag books and 3 cards but it was fun though. I think I will put some things on ebay and see how they do there.

Let's see what else is new in my life.....

I got a job as a bookkeeper at our local grain elevator so I will be able to use my education as an accountant and learn some new things too. I am looking forward to it but also a little anxious about going back to work after 4 years off.

Seth is doing really well with the potty training. I think we might be close to real underpants. He knows that life is changing but he doesn't know how though. Autumn will watch him until just before school starts so hopefully, the transition will be easier for him. He will also start preschool this fall too. Lots of changes for him.

Thank you Secret pal. I got my book....Mason Dixon knitting. I am already knitting the baby kimono. My niece is having another baby so it will be for her. I love so many things in this book. I can't wait to make the dishcloths and other things too.

Happy Fourth of July!!! We have had a long weekend of various events here and tomorrow is the culmination of everything. We will go to the parade and have a barbeque with some friends. Then fireworks at night.

Then I have to get up for work in the morning. Wish me luck.....

Blog a Book along: Chapter 5 Stress/anxiety....

I am going to answer one of the writing prompts...Do I grow up in an anxiety rich environment? How did it affect me as a kid?

Yes, I did grow up in an anxiety rich environment because when I was 9 years old my world changed. My mother who was my world at the time had an aneryseum that left her alive but partial paralyzed and having to learn everything all over again. I also ended up sick with scarletina and very scared that nothing would ever be the same. All of a sudden my rock wasn't there. My siblings were all a lot older than me and had lives of their own. My father was there but he had my mother to take care of...so there was a lot of anxiety in my home for a lot of years as we adjusted to the changes. I ended up taking care of my parents by the time I was ten. I did the laundry, cooking, and cleaning etc. I don't know what a normal childhood is like because I didn't really have one. I learned more about pharmacology than most adults. Needless to say I had a lot of responsiblity and some say in the household but I still needed some direction and guidance. My father had did the best he could but he also helped me to see that I could do anything as long as I wanted it badly enough.

I learned thru my experiences what I don't want for my children but also learned coping mechanisms to deal with my life without pills or drugs. I have learned mediation as a way to relieve stress and worries. I know my signals that I need to release things. My dh has learned various things thru his life as well and we have practiced them together. We try to have a peaceful household but fun and loving household as well. I don't want to a friend to children I want to be a guide and sounding board. These are things that I always wanted with my parents. I don't like feeling anxious so I have worked to change that. I know some people don't have that luxury of having time to deal with their anxieties but I know once they deal with them, They function better. I think Dyer is not realizing that not all children are totally accepting and free from anxiety. My son has always been anxious and nervous since he was small. My dh and I have shared with him our ways of coping and encouraged him to find his own peace with himself. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't but we do try to him figure out why he worries and if it is something he can change to feel in control of it.

I also think there is a fine line between worry and concern....I call it worry but maybe it is concern....I worry that my kids as they find their independence they are not harmed badly...I worry that my husband's health doesn't get worse or that he has an accident....I think these things are some things I can not change but I still worry because I love them and don't want to lose them to something that we could have prepared for. So worry or concern.....where is the line and do we know if we cross it?

Secret Pal 8......Thank you!!!

Here are things my secret pal sent me. The yarn is sock yarn and I can't wait to try socks. I might have to take a little while before I do but I will learn to do socks.....

The book is really good. I already finished it. But will probably read it again and again. My secret pal is treating me well.

The knitting is going okay right now. I figured out my left front on my cardigan and that is coming along. I haven't made much progress on anything else because I am working on my paper craft hobby. I am going to do some selling at a craft fair in July so I am busy making things to sell. Plus the kids have been busy as well.

Now that has cooled off...I will be able to make better progress. It has been so hot here and we don't have A/C so it hard to keep the house cool and comfy.
I will try to update about the book in the next few days. I haven't read the last two chapters so will skim those and come up with something tomorrow or Monday.

Blog a book: Chapter 4 Self Reliant.

This chapter was interesting in that I always want my kids to be self-reliant. A lot of the things Dyer discusses are things that we do with our kids anyway. I have to admit that I am an approval seeker because I think when I was small that is how I got attention. In my family I still seek their approval and usually don't get it. I have learned over the years that seeking approval gets you no where. Thus, I am trying to help my kids to get over that approval thing. My oldest, Autumn, does fine with this and we usually discuss the problems she has and I reassure her that she should just be herself and stick to what she believes regardless of everyone else. My middle child, Jacob has trouble with this and is a terrible approval seeker. I am trying to wean him away from this but it is very frustrating. My littlest one, I have been really aware of the little things..ie. spilled milk, I try not to get angry but just clean it up and sometimes include him in the process. I truly believe that we all need to make sure our kids don't blame others for their problems.

I agree with Dyer most in this chapter...as I have figured these things out for myself and try to help my kids find that they have the power within themselves. Don't go looking for something that is right inside you.

Blog A book Along: What do I really want for my Children?

Chapter 3: I want my children to be risk takers.

I do want my children to take some risks. Dyer says you don't grow if you don't take risks. I believe this to be true because the times I have taken risks I have learned something or grown is some way. I understand what he means we have to excited and not fearful. It is a scary thing to change something or do something that takes us out of our comfort zone. I think you need to change the fear to excitement. Sort of putting the positive spin on it. After all fear and excitement cause the same bodily reaction..heartrate increases, you sweat, etc....I think it is all in how you use that reaction. Everytime I get fearful I try to turn that into excitement rather than be paralzyed by the fear. The quote" The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" by FDR. I think fear can be the monster under the bed that we tend to not want to deal with but once we do everything is so much better.

The best thing that I got out of this chapter was about Do your best...to be changed to just Do it. I have one child that is a risk taker and one that isn't. I have used everything in my power to get the non risk taker to takes the risk of being wrong which is his biggest fear. Sometimes he does take the risks and I try to be there to let him know that that was a good job to just take the risk but I know he just thinks it is stupid to do things that you fear. Because it is uncomfortable but it is way a to enlarge your world. So I think I will drop the "your best" part and just say "DO"! Because best is very subjective to everyone at different times.

This is a very interesting book in that it is helping me look at my parenting in a different way and it is also verifying to me that I am doing some good things too.

Knitting......update.....

This what I have been up to with my knitting. This is the back of my Bristow Cardigan. I have since finished it so that is something. I have started the
left front now.
The next photo is my prayer shawl and I finished this one too. It is very warm and feels nice too. I am so tired of knitting with LB homespun that I won't be doing that any time soon.
The scarf is the Irish hiking scarf for the knitalong. I am not done with that one. I like doing it but I have to do it when I am not going to be bothered to much. I tend to get lost on my count. I did start a lace project Cozy from knitty. But need to concentrate on that one too. I am probably going to start another prayer shawl in Merino knit picks iris color. That is a very easy knit and relaxing. I need to have various projects going to meet my needs. I also am trying to learn socks but that isn't coming along like I hoped.


These are the knit markers I made using directions from
www.wormspit.com/stitchmarkers Very nice......

Well that is all of my projects currently. So yes, I did knit and scrapbook too. Maybe I will get some of that up soon too. Stay posted.....

Blog a book along: Chapter 2

This was more interesting chapter. I so completely understand what he means. My son has low self-esteem. We have done all of things that Mr Dyer describes. Some of these things were hard to do because you have think before you speak. When my dh and I had our first child we decided that we change some of the things that our parents did. Our parents did some things that we didn't like or made us feel good about ourselves so we decided that we wouldn't perpetuate that way.

The first thing we decided was that we would tell our children that we loved them daily. We would also make sure that we disapproved the behavior not the child. Also we would tell our children that they could accomplish anything as along as they gave it their all. So many of Dyer's concepts are not new to me.

I think the reason that my son has such problems is that the daycare provider that I used was not as diligent about watching the speech and such. I also for some reason stopped hugging and kissing my son thinking that it would make him more needy. I know now that was wrong. I do make an effort to hug and kiss him even though he is 11. So he is coming along but it is a long hard road. He has all of the problems that Dyer describes. I think I am going to try the imagery ideas to see if that will make a dent in his ability to succeed. Right now it is hard for him to try new things because he gets frustrated if they aren't perfect right away. So maybe if he can imagine himself succeding it will be a step in the right direction.

Now, my daughter on the other hand, is the a good start on no limit person. She is good at lots of things and just expects that she will be. Not to say that she doesn't try new things but she does get discouraged sometimes but she doesn't let that stop her. Maybe she will be the first no limit person I meet.....

Secret Pal 8

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like? I like anything that is soft that could be acrylic or natural fiber. I don't like anything scratchy.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in? I use my mother's old knitting case. It looks like a bottle container .

3. How long have you been knitting? I have only been knitting a little over the year. Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced? I am a beginner but I will try anything.

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list? http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/ref=yourlists_pop_1/102-7439220-0178514
5. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.) I love anything citrusy. My two favorites are cucumber melon and pink grapefruit.
6. Do you have a sweet tooth?Yes... Favorite candy? Caramel or toffee anything with those two things in them are my faves.

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?I also scrapbook and make cards. Do you spin? Yes, I am learning to spin with a spindle.

8. What kind of music do you like?I like anything except rap. Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD) Yes my music devices with play anything.

9. What's your favorite color? I don't really have a favorite color
Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? I tend to like any blues or greens or pinks.Any colors you just can't stand? no

10. What is your family situation?I am married and have 3 kids (dd-14, ds -11, ds-3) Do you have any pets? 2 dogs and 2 cats
11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?I wear scarves and mittens.
12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?Anything is wonderful right now.
13. What are you knitting right now? Let's see....I am working on a cardigan(Bristow from knitty), a cabled scarf, and a shawl(Cozy from knitty).
14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts? Yes
15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic? I have really have experience with Aluminum. I have two bamboo circulars but haven't figured out how to make them work for me.
16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift? NO
17. How did you learn to knit? I taught myself.
18. How old is your oldest UFO? A cabled scarf that I started in Dec 2005
19. What is your favorite holiday? I like all the holidays
20. Is there anything that you collect? Yarn and scrapbook supplies
21. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on?I would like the yarn harlot books and a cable book by Fiona Ellis. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have? I only subscribe to Interweave Knits
22. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn? I am learning cables and lace.
23. Are you a sock knitter? Trying to learn that too What are your foot measurements? circumference=10 inches....Length 9.5 inches
24. When is your birthday? (01/18)

Sunday Scribbles

I live where I live because I love the country and the peace and quiet that it brings.  I love the old farm house we live in.  It has big open rooms  and lots of light. I grew up on the shores of Lake Erie and now I live on the shores of grains and all things living.  It is very peaceful and safe.  I am far from my family which is a good thing I think.  I love my family but I like that they have to make an effort to drop by.    My dh and I found the house of our dreams in the place of our dreams. 

Blog a book along: parenting

Chapter 1:

What I thought about it? Obviously, I don't know a true no limit person. I do try to have some of the things that he says make one a no limit person. I try to have self respect and self confidence even though there are days when that isn't too forth coming. I also liked the idea of affective domain. I agree that the schools are more interested in what you know rather than how you feel. My ds has an anxiety problem that manifests itself at school. Every where else he is fine. But in school he feels pressured which results in feeling of inadequacies etc.. We are working on it but it is a long hard road. So I do monitor how and what I say to him because he takes everything very seriously and internalizes it. I always try to put the positive spin on things. I don't like the idea of perfect creation. No one is perfect. I think perfectionism is the root of all that is bad. I usually do tell my children that I love them for themselves not what they do or what they will do. I tell them I hope that they think of others as well as themselves. I also believe that the kids know what they might want to be when they grow up. I have never said you have to be "blah". I am actually very surprised what my children say interests them. One wants to be a sports therapist(physical therapy) and one wants to be a librarian. I feel that it is very important to be examples for our children but I think most of us know this. So not too much new for me in this chapter.

Blog a book along: parenting....

I finally was able to read the intro yesterday. My thoughts on it are I am all for eradicating the self-defeating attitudes. I know I have a few and really do try to get rid of them. The neurotic dividends is definitely something I willing to not have anymore. What I really liked about the intro was that he included some things other than what he thought. His mom's poem to him is something I have often said to myself. That we as parents are there to guide them and then be willing to step aside and them try and fail if need be. But to be there when they need to understand and support them. I am also not wanting to be a friend to my kids they need someone to guide them and support them not just be liked by them. I am looking forward to more of this book.

It is a good day!!

The kids are back in school and there might be a little rain. So it is all good. Busy most of the weekend with church and family. It was a nice relaxing weekend. Now I just have to clean up from that weekend. I have been doing some reading trashy and informative. I have been reading up on spinning so it is interesting and helping me understand the what all the new terms mean. I am going to have to seek out the guild and a person near me that know spins. It is wonderful to learn something new.

I got a few rows of knitting in but haven't done anything with my scrapping. I have to fit in a new to me bookshelf. IT will be fun to do some spring cleaning.

Have a wonderful spring and enjoy the butterflies.

It is hard to believe it has been two weeks. Time is flying by again. I haven't done Rhonna's challenge very well. I got up to about day 14 and time just got away from me again. I will have to do on my own again. Thanks to everyone who commented on my blog. I enjoyed everyone's journals. I will stop again from time to time on some of them.

Now, I am going to start bloggin a book on parenting. I have 3 kids who sometimes I think get the better of me. I want so many things for them that I don't know where to begin sometimes. We will be reading and commenting on this book. What do you really want for your children? by Wayne Dyer. It sounds like an interesting book. I am looking forward to reading it and thinking about what it says. Check it out...the button on the right.

I better get going I have some errands I need to do today.

Challenge Day 3

I changed up a bit seeing everyone working with other mediums made want to get my water colors out and play a bit. So I know it makes it hard to read but here is the journaling:
I accomplished one more day of cleaning and picking up. It does make a difference. MY husband and children are noticing the difference too. It was really nice to eat at the table last night.

Seth woke up during the night it reminded me of when I was a child and would get into bed with my parents. My mom would stroke my hair until I fell asleep. NowI do that for my children. Life does take many twists and turns.

The adage when life gives you lemons make lemonade. So it is with a problem, make it into something to nourish and renew yourself. Don't let go to waste because you will also waste that opportunity to grow and become more, every experience brings something to you.

I think that this quote sums up what I have always believed but lost somewhere along the way. I always sais I wanted to live with "No Regrets". I guess I should revisit that philosophy.

Dream Big

as your Heart

can be

This is what I think when I read this. I have forgotten so much of what I learned when I was young. Your heart should be full of dreams. You are only limited by your dreams so we can all do big things and more then we think we can.

day 2 of 21 day Challenge

I enjoyed this page too....keeping it simple and consistent. I am also doing thoughts about the quotes of the day too. I might just do that as blog entry as well. so another day of picking up and cleaning things up has gone well. I hope to be able to do these as second nature at the end of this.

21 Day Challenge--Day 1

I enjoyed doing this page. It is very simple but I want the journaling to be the main thing. It was fun to get out the markers and the stamps and play again. This is like a treat after doing my challenge. I can't wait until tomorrow's inspiration.

Look at what I did!!!!

I went and got 3 books coil bound.  It is so nice to be able to lay this book flat to work from.  I can't wait to put it into practice.  It only cost a little over $10 to do 3 books.  I think this is so worth it.  I went to Officemax their copy center there.  It didn't take to long either about 30 mins or so. So I am looking forward to getting more of my books done like this.  If you like this go for it,  it is so easy and well worth it.  I hated that the books always would flop closed or you had to bend back the pages to see what you wanted to work on. 

Interesting March....so far..

Well, March has been trying to say the least. My dh has been in and out of the hospital for a heart condition that he has had for some time. So hopefully, next week we will get more answers than we have right now.

I did get to start on my sweater Kal for the year. I am really liking the Andean Silk from Knit picks. I love the color Cranberry too. I hope to get my other things finished up this week too. I made some knit markers last weekend too. They came out really pretty. I need to get some more circles to make some more though.

Scrapbooking I haven't done much but think about getting some books coil bound. That would really help to work from them. I have been working on my swap items but that is it. I really need to clean my room and organize it better so I can work up there. I better get going and clean the house some and clean my scrap room too. I also want to get some knitting done too.

Thoughts on life

This last week has been really sad. A local teen was killed in a rollover car accident. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and was ejected. She was only 16 years old. My daughter is 14 and wanting to drive. This is something that scares me. Watching this girl's mother grieve for her is really hard. I know that could be anyone of us as mothers. This has made me want to hug my kids harder and longer. It is also hard to let them out of my sight as if that would make them safer. It is hard thing to do is let our children go off on their own. I just don't know if I could bear losing a child. It is something no one expects and is hard to prepare for. This also brought back all the recent funerals I have been to. They were all different... my nephew's was a testament to his ability to bring help people with anything. He helped people overcome addiction to drugs and live a better life by encouraging people to go to school. My FIL's funeral was about a person who lived a long life and was very obvious with his faith. He always had an opinion and spoke them openly. My mother's was more about her family and how she helped us all grow up to be very different people. I hope people will remember this girl with fondness and love. So everyone hug people closer to you, you never know when it will be your last.

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calmYou are often held up by others as the idealBut too much of you, and they'll get burned You are best known for: your warmth Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

Happy Valentine's day!!!

My hubby is the best in the whole world. He always remembers my birthday and Valentine's as well as our anniversaries. I saw he left me my Valentine this morning before he left for work. I have to finish his gift/Valentine this morning. He is always so thoughtful. Not to mention all forgiving for all my misdeeds. I like Valentine's day. I usually always make my own Valentines. I wanted to get some out for my family but never quite got that far. Well, there is always Easter...

Now, on the Craft front>>> I have completed another dishcloth. I am working on my prayer shawl still...getting closer to done there. I have almost completed a heart dishcloth.. just have to knit the last 4 rows and bind off. My Irish cable scarf is still very short. Hope to concentrate on that this week. I am cheering on all of the Olympic Knitters. I just couldn't enter I have so many unfinished things to complete thought that Finishing some things would be a better idea. So that is my knitting update.
Scrapbooking. I did complete 12 Valentines for my women's church group. I have started my Dh's Valentine just have to find pictures of the kids and do a few more pages. Have a long list of layouts to do have to get organized to do them. I have completed all my swap things just have to get them mailed. Someday...I will get some what caught up.
Lots of ideas not enough time or energy.

Have a great Valentine's day...kiss someone.....

Your Fashion Style is Classic

You like what's stood the test of time...Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendyYou stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a whileYou wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors

What's" Your Fashion Style?

New month, new style?! I don't know...but the weather it seems is going to change into more winter like in the next few days. Thanks, Phil(the groundhog). I certainly have enjoyed this winter it has been wonderfully warm by North Dakota standards. Can't really complain about it at all. I still am looking forward to spring. I really love the mild weather and the birds singing...which by the way some birds have already returned to ND. So I am getting more into the spring mind set. I need to get some scrapping done this week. I did finish one layout this week. But need to do more family ones. I also have to get some Valentine's cards done. Lots to do and no time to do it. Tomorrow is errand day and Saturday we have a basketball game. Sunday is the Superbowl and church so if I am lucky....I might be able to get a few minutes on Sunday but not likely. Oh well, there is next week. Let's see....next week will be less crazy basketball ends this weekend but I have to serve at a game next but after that I am freed up a bit. I am looking forward to it. A quiet week....not sure I know what that is....

Well, I am another year older. I have been sick for about 10 days now I hope I can get rid whatever this is cold or sinus thing. I hope to be creative today. I want to make some valentines and also start some new layouts. I have all the photos organized just have to get them into some layouts. Lots to do...I also need to finish some knitting. Just never enough time to do it all. I am missing my Irish hiking scarf somewhere need to find that.... I am waiting today for the UPS man to get here. He is bringing me some gifts today. A scrap tote and some pens... yeah.... Can't wait! I should get a shower and get dressed and do some chores before I can disappear into my craft room. The weather here has been strange. We had high winds and snow and warm temps. Can't understand it but will take it though... North Dakota sure has had lovely weather this winter. Let's hope it continues. I also need to learn how to add links on this site and other things. Look out if I can figure it out....pics everywhere.....

New Year....New thoughts....

This is a new year I hope new and wonderful things will happen. I have been thinking alot about the past year. It is filled with many things and trying times. Last year, my FIL passed away after having been diagnosed with bone cancer a few months before. He had been battling some health issues over the last few years. So it wasn't unexpected. My dh was upset that he didn't get to visit with his dad before he passed. I just think that my FIL was okay with the fact that he was coming home. I don't think he wanted my dh to see him like he was. So that was a hard way to begin a new year. Once we got home, the kids got their homework done from the time we were gone. My sister called to tell me my mother had passed away unexpectedly. Even though my mother was 81 she was in relatively good health. She had been in a nursing home for the last few years. So this was a surprise in a way. She had put a DNR(do not resucitate) request into place when she moved to the nursing home. So I had grieved a little about that so this was hard but since I was born to my parents late in their life. I had always prepared myself for this eventuality. I guess in a way I will always grieve for her she was my mother. Now it is getting to be a year since her death. I have many times wanted to talk to her and realized that I couldn't tell her what my youngest son was doing and if I did these same things as a child. I can always remember her laugh and her advice. She was a very witty and sarcastic person. I know that I always had a special place in her heart as did all of us. I am the last child of 7. So I am not an only child. There are lots of people to talk with but we are all busy with our lives and not able to explore this idea. Now, I try to keep in contact with my dad alot. He doesn't say much but he does talk to me more than anyone else. He has always been a quiet person. I also try to talk to my MIL alot as well. She is who I worry about the most. She lost her life partner and she has never been alone. She is doing pretty good but I know she misses her love. I know I would be the same for me.
Well, this year I am going to get myself in a better place and trying to understand where I want to be in my life. I hope to become a better artist and person. Accomplish some things that I want to do. Spend time with my children too. Let us hope that this new year brings wonderful and new things.